The journey of my life.
Global Challenge is a journey, but the journey doesn't begin or end there. I have only been on this journey for a month now and I've already had some really exciting, but also some very intence experiences. In this time I have been stretched and challenged, but I am excited to discover and learn more.
Last week we had buildig week where we had to serve the children of the school by varnishing and painting the walls of the school. I have never worked like that in my life. It was actually a very difficult week for me. It challenged me in different ways, because there I was confronted with some of my old wounds I felt when I was in High school. In high school I really felt rejected by the children and the teachers. I worked really hard and I really tried to impress them, but everyday I would go home feeling like a loser that couldn't accomplish anything. These same feelings popped up this week.
This week we were intoduced to the journeys we would do this year, but I wasn't on a journey, because they said they must first see if I would be emotionally ready for this. I felt rejected in my innermost being. I felt the hurt of not being good enough, coming to make its appearance . I felt like a loser. I know this is difficult to undertand because I was not actually rejected by anyone and yet I felt that way. I believe it is Jesus who wants to heal my old wounds. We think that Jesus wants to give us a quick fix but He wants to be involved in our brokeness. He loves us in our brokeness and I think that is what unconditional love really looks like. He actually allows us to suffer because when we suffer we grow. These concepts are so difficult to grasp. But it is a journey and like any journey there is beauty but there is also pain. This is going to be a beautiful journey.