Jesus is the mystery.
God says Jesus is a mystery. a Mystery is not easy to solve. I think God intended it to be a mystery for us ,because he does not want us to stop to get to know Jesus. He wants us to step into relationship with Him ,he wants to solve the mystery with us..
We are trained from a young age to learn how to do things on our own. But in a relationship with God He wants to do everything with us.
My friendship with Jesus is mostly about religion and not relationship. When I need to pray or read the bible I sigh,because for me it feels like work. Little did I know that Jesus wants it to be an adventure where he goes with me. I want my mind to change and I want to know what it means to have a relationship with Jesus.
These past weeks Jesus came to expose all the lies I believe. I believe that I am not good enough for love beacuse my appearance does not live up to the standard that is worthy of love. I reject myself , before the world gets a change to reject me.
I want to change. I want to learn how to accept and love myself even when I dont live up to the standard of the world. I want to receive freemdom to love and be loved .
Jesus calls me His beloved. To be His beloved you only have to be. You don't have to do anything for His love. You can just be you and that's enough.
I am a very sensitive person . I can feel what others feel without them telling me what their emotions are. I take their emotions and their problems on my self and then at the end of the day I can't tell what emotions are mine and what are theirs. I don't want to do this anymore . I am walking a journey with Jesus where He is teaching me how to have empathy for others without taking responsibilty for their problems. It is a difficult journey but it is worth it.
I am a mess but I am a beautifull mess,and I am on a journey with Jesus that is going to change my life forever.
I newer really knew Jesus ,I knew my father and I always thought they are the same but they are not. When I need answers I dont go to Jesus I go to Brian my father. I take what he tells me as thruth while I never ever search for thruth from Jesus.
It is very important for me to express myself and in some area of life I dont feel like I can. I feel people limit me in a box and I dont want to be put in a box ,I want to be free. God calls me for freedom.
Freedom to dance,to sing, laugh and to express myself.