My foundation was shaken. It already started in China and carried on in Nepal. How we live and react to things that happen to us depends on what we believe about Jesus (i.e. The foundation that was built). Once you allow Jesus to come in to your house and some belief that you have that is not of Him...that belief starts to waver. Do you allow Him to set the truth as the foundation (a truth that is more solid and constant) or do you carry on building on something that is ignorant of Who Jesus is and what He did on the cross for you (that is wavering and unstable)?
During our time and Nepal I had a revelation. Some parts if not the whole of my house (my beliefsystem) is based on my own understanding and framework. I was placed in situations which I haven't experienced before. I reacted to situations out of a place of caution due to previous experiences that went wrong. I had to believe when it hasn't come true in my own life. I had to trust when I didn't know how. I had to decide when I felt unsure and had nothing to fall back on. Being on this journey so far has placed me far out of my comfort zone...and what I am sure of in my self.
During our time in Nepal we shared Word, testimonies and prayed amongst church and community members in Kathmandu and in a village (Ghorka) in the mountains. It was the first time for me to share the Word infront of many. I trusted in faith with many for healing and deliverance. Family life will always have its challenges to help us grow. Remaining steadfast to what you have been called to is also difficult.
The number one song on my playlist at the moment is Shepherd of my soul by Rivers and Robots:
Lord of the mountains and sea
You are treading a path set for me
God of the seasons and sky
You have always been holding my life
And Lord, You are the shepherd of my soul
So I lay down my plans, I give up my rights
And let You take control of this surrendered life
So I put my trust in the one
Who created the stars and the sun
You are eternally kind
Always faithful and endlessly wise
You comfort, You sustain
In shaking You remain
Unmoved and unafraid
Forever and always
You lead me by still waters
Lead me through the valleys
Lead me in Your wisdom
Shepherd of my soul
Through valleys of shadow and death I am not afraid
By my Father’s breath every star in the sky was made
And who can I fear when You’re standing right here by my side?
Always leading, protecting and guarding my left and my right
Father You make all things new
Great God of creation
Father You will always be my rock and salvation
I have come to realize that there is some unwavering parts in my house's foundation and now I'm allowing the Maker of heaven and earth with all His wisdom and all His love to come and rebuild and restore it. I had to come to where I am now and had to be placed in specific situations so that I can learn the Lord's perspective and His way and truth. So that from now on I can be unmoved and unafraid the next time I am faced with the same situations. I am in the process of learning to not lean on my own understanding and to come to trust the One that is always with me and for. I am learning to trust the Shepherd of my soul that cares for me, guides me and protects me.