After a whirlwind 7 weeks of training, that felt somehow longer than that considering all encompassed in them. I had laughed, cried, been excited, angry, confused, exhausted refreshed, very uncomfortable and so much more. But you see, I'd chosen this ( at least I think so) and when I came to Jeffrey's Bay, South Africa I knew training would be challenging but quite necessary. Well, I didn't foresee my irritation at having to do some athletic exercises on Survivor, being challenged on how I prefer to put God in a box I can wrap my head around when in actual fact he is way beyond that, the value of integrity always, even in seemingly small things. Anxiety about kiddies ministry and dealing with teens and the unexpected excitement over the response of one introvert child and being ok with the teenagers unresponsiveness at times. The joys of working together, challenges of language barriers, hiccups of planning meals, unpredictable nature of working on building
sites, greater awareness of the spiritual, facing beliefs about myself and others with regards to the prophetic. The ever increasing appreciation of people in their diversity, forming and building relationships and the beauty and wonder over and over of the liberating effect of God's love and grace ... I didn't think I was 100% ready but I had the best preparation program from dedicated men and women who depended on God.
Yep, I was ready to put a pause button on this in the form of going home to Botswana for a few days to do a few things, say goodbyes and get a dose of what was comfortable and familiar. Well it didn't happen, circumstance didn't allow me to leave South Africa. The anger and sulk session followed of course. Wise council from friends helped and God reminded me that his eye was always on the ball whether things went the way I wanted or not, he remains constant and aware Pro16:9. I had to get with the program, surrender to God and trust in his sovereign will that's always best. My last few days were good and somewhere between then and getting on a plane headed for Cuba our first country with my team in excitement, I realised that there was no pause button on this, I don't have the remote, and its okay!