Kosovo has been good! My mother said she was going to step into interceding for me and it is amazing how powerful prayer is! I feel like this is the most God has ever revealed of Himself to me.
It started with being met by love when I was vulnerable ( dancing and singing like a mad person). A lot of healing happens when you show yourself and in return get a standing ovation from a Star Breather. So imagine this scene. There are three judges and the contestant reluctantly steps out on the stage. Music starts and this poor soul freezes. Embarrassment fills the room like a Mexican wave, followed by "you are wasting my time" type a tension coming from the judges. Then, a slight pang of courage jolts through the poor unfortunate soul (#Ursula) and it makes one move. It starts slow, as a slow clap does, and it speeds up. It's Jesus in the back line where he slipped in, and man He is just blown away by that move. One might say that move is the mother of all moves, when you look at how He enjoyed it. His applauding starts drowning out the music, creating a more beautiful beat. The Contestant couldn't help himself. He had to make another move, which was followed by an earth shattering "whohoooooo!!!!!". When the judges gain consciousness again, contestant X is doing the most beautiful dance and along side him Jesus is, following him and keeping the beat, obviously throwing in some groovy moves.
That is what happened to me here in Kosovo. I got hit by an unexpected identity crisis ( I thought my teen days were over). So He said He was pulling stickers off of me, preparing new things in me, mostly for my own enjoyment for now. When I realized a small part of my identity in Christ ( and believe me I never understood that either so I will try to explain, but you'll only know when it happens. Isn't that one of the coolest things about God. He wants you to experience first hand so He makes it impossible to describe. Good one God!)
So, when you realize a part of your true identity, it is like a jolt goes through your entire life so far and shows you where this was and how the enemy turned it against you. All the lies that came from it immediately falls away, like you can't believe how weak they were, and that part of you stands up and makes you feel 5 meters tall. You kinda feel at home in your body for the first time. I think this is what abiding in Christ means. When you let truth come in and light up your existence in Christ. In Him as in He is the spotlight and the applauder. Now I understand the part in 1 Cor 13 that says love rejoices in the truth.
But that is another thing! Revelations are my favorite things! Every time I get one I feel like God's timing came through perfectly. You know when you notice a brand of car for the first time and then all of a sudden they are everywhere you look? It's like that with revelations of God's character. Once you get it, you see the truth it brings everywhere you look. It is God introducing you to new colors!
Always wondered if we saw color the same. You know? What if you were born seeing pink as green. And your parents pointed at it and said pink. So every time they saw what is the original pink, you saw what they would see as green. How amazing would that be? If we all saw the world through different eyes? Oh wait, we do? I think one of the coolest things God gave us is that there is just one of you.
So the more we come alive, the more we abide, the more we see life with new eyes, the more we become like Jesus.
And guess what happens then... Like forgotten friends, old insecurities and fears pop up out of nowhere, full on fighting the new change like it was a disease. Apparently this is the part where obedience becomes sacrificial. But in a good way you know?
Side note: these days I've been thinking more and more that if you think it is a sacrifice to submit your will to God, then you have obviously not submitted it, because it is quite the opposite.
So when i mop the floor, shaking with a childlike fear of things lurking in the dark, it means that Jesus is victorious and also that the devil has no creativity.
So prayers would be much appreciated xxx