It's that satisfying moment when you go a little bit further than you know humanly possible for you. When you become the woman you have always dreamt of being. When your self rejecting thought patterns change in a matter of days.. Patterns that have cursed you for years. It is healing beyond our imagination. He opened my eyes to how much more I am. That He awakens more in me.
And don't get me started in the romance. I day dream a lot about my future husband coming to me and saying that God has shown him dreams of me. The next moment Jesus comes pops in and is like " so why don't you day dream about Me? I have been dreaming and imagining you being my bride even before I made you." And i couldn't even think about what a romance with Love would be like? Imagine Love being the lover of your soul? Its like "I raise you a double portion of love" Then i heard Him say something He has mentioned to me a few times on many different topics "It will be like nothing you have never experienced before. You cannot even imagine it." So i just tapped into that and had the most amazing time with Jesus.
He is making me someone I like to love. And that really is a big deal. I used to judge my every thought and motive, truly believing all of them impure and deceived. And i can say that and know that only He awakens all of me. Songs of solomon 4:16 Awake, O north wind, and come, O south wind! Blow upon my garden, let its spices flow.
And while we're on this topic, i love songs of Solomon. If you ever wonder praise He is worthy of ;SOS 1: 3 Your name is oil poured out.
Draw me after You; let us run. The King has brought me to His chambers.
I don't understand how people do not want this? This intense relationship with the King of all Kings! The Lord who has created all things, who knows you through and through and yet still loves you with a sacrificial love! He knew how unthankful we were going to be for what His son has done for us, but He still gave Him. He knew most of us would hate Him (for no reason might i add... Gosh we are idiots) but He still gave His son. Genesis 6: 5-6 The Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. And the Lord regretted that He had made man on the earth, and it grieved Him to his heart.
Ok so reading that one might think that he should just then kill us all, but even when are so disgusting that He regrets making us, He loves us still and that is why He sent His son. So that Jesus can fulfill the law and God can look at us and see Jesus. Actually beautiful what Jesus did for The Father.
The question popped up though "God knows everything so He knew we would sin and choose death, then why did He create us?" And for me it came down to this quote from C.S. Lewis "Why, then did God give them free will?
Because free will, though it makes evil possible, is also the ONLY THING that makes possible any love or goodness or love worth having."
He deserves to be loved, because we want to love Him. He does not have to force us to love Him, because it is so much more beautiful if someone choses out of themselves to love you. He is worthy of that. I just love thinking of how excited God becomes when we acknowledge and love Him. In training we heard that He says " I am so glad you came" every time you spend time with Him. Isn't that gorgeous? The Creator of all the universe wants me to love Him. He longs for my heart to be captivated by Him. He is the one our souls loves. His love is better than wine ( Songs of Solomon 1:2) My beloved is to me a sachet of myrrh ( just go read Songs of Solomon for pete's sake!) We say to Him that He is beautiful our beloved! Truly delightful! 2:4 He brought me to the banqueting house and HIS BANNER OVER ME WAS LOVE.
I actually can just go on but you get the picture I hope? It is the most delightful kind of love. A love that casts away shallow fears, depression, anguish, feelings of worthlessness. It adds a beyond this world type of dimension. You kinda come to a place where you realize your worthlessness and you find so much joy in it. Without Him i am nothing, but He honors me enough to reveal Himself to me and to make me part of this healing process where He heals the earth. He gives you the front seat and it is beautiful. Like nothing you've ever seen. He is not a worldly thing. It is all about Him. He is so glorious that He created the universe to glorify Himself