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Jansie Malan

Jansie Malan

I heard Him say, "Oh darling, let us be adventurers." And from behind the walls of ordinariness my heart cried out in a surrendered cheer "Yes Lord. here I come!"

What I have always dreamt of...

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I have always wanted to change the world!

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God of the unfit and ordinary

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The empty streets of Bethlehem were filled with a quiet novelty that danced in the gentle orange splashes as the sun rose over the birth town of my Saviour.

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The Living Proof

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"Prove to me that your God is not dead!"

 
 
The straight forward, nearly aggressive demand of the stranger in the shopping center kept ringing through my ears...
Who are you to claim that your god is the only True God, the only Living God?! You have the Bible, I have the Koran, you have faith, I have science. Prove to me that what you believe is the Truth!
My insides cringed for a moment, my all too cozy corner of inferiority and self belittlement called out in the sweetest of voices, reminding me of exactly how far my knowledge falls short of a convincing answer. Yes, for a little while my heart got tucked in under the familiar and comfortable blanket of guilt. I found myself wishing I've spent more adult-hours studying apologetics or arming myself with better verses to at least try and defend myself, defend my faith and most importantly defend my God!
Oh, but how foolish have I been!
 
As if... as if the Creator of the universe is in need of one of His creatures to try and defend Him! As if the Father of Lights is helplessly depending on one of His children to fight for Him, with nothing more than utterable words!
The voice of the Most High God roared through the chambers of my soul with a whisper surer than my guilt. This roar emanated from one starry night when I first cried out to a God, whom I only knew from hearsay.
 
It started as a desperate spark but it soon became an atomic explosion of love and righteousness devouring my sinful ways. It completely annihilated my sick desire to create a satisfying life through made-up truths and colorful lies.
It gave my meaningless existence beautiful purpose, fulfilling me in the deepest of ways!
Can I prove that my God is the only true God, that He is not dead? With clever arguments an well constructed evidence.... No, I can not.
BUT I know that I know that I am not the same person that I was before I met Jesus Christ! That I am not the same person that I was yesterday! Since He became Lord of my life I learned how to forgive, to give; I learned how to love beyond the limits and boundaries that my humaness so logically tried to construct.
 
I used to be addicted to affirmation and attention - I am not anymore.
I used to seek my identity in fleeting pleasures - I do not anymore.
I used to compare myself up to a point of hating myself - I do not do that anymore.
 
My heart was made new and daily I can see how Father God loves on me in a way that changes me. Joy and patience takes the place of jealousy and frustration, harshness and bitterness turns into gentle compassion and understanding grace - for myself and others.
I find myself dreaming dreams that goes beyond myself: loving the world's most unloved people, wanting to to surrender my all to serve the unwanted and forgotten of our time.
The truth is that I am not telling you this to make you feel guilty or to exalt myself. I know that I know that I am a sinner, utterly deserving of punishment and hell.
But somehow, in ways that I don't know how to explain or even understand, God chose to save me into a relationship with Himself!
And though I still sin daily and fail to live according to His Word, He still chooses to save me from my sinful ways, without me "wanting to be a better person" or even "trying to do good". He communes with me in colorful moments, calling me His very own. Oh, He gently talks to me, soothing my fears away by never forsaking me, walking with me, being with me...loving me more that my earthly capacity can bear.
Can I prove that my God is alive? No I can not. BUT He was more than capable to prove Himself to me, and He is able to prove Himself to you as well!
Look at me and gaze upon what He has done! Listen to my story and see the God that stands behind every good thing in my life.
 
 
Come, and see that I AM THE PROOF that He is alive!
 
"They shall walk after the Lord. He will roar like a lion. Then His sons shall come trembling from the west..."
Hosea11:10
 
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This blog is a bit different from the other “recent posts”, I know… but this morning I woke up with a heart that just wants to overflow unto my laptop buttons! Who am I, and where am I? I’m an ex-Global Challenger from last year that is sitting in my hometown, in an on-campus residence room, studying, like everyone else around me! I am a girl that tasted the life of a crazy backpacker living out Jesus to strangers all over South- and Central-America, that came back to the normal life of a university student. So that’s me, but here’s my blog…

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Our Luke 10 journey in Ecuador...where do I start? What do I say? You see, I feel like I’m a five year old, standing in front of a wall sized puzzle, trying to chose one single piece to describe. It is like having the menus of Mac Donald’s, KFC, Burger King, Subway and Cinnabon in front of you and you have to decide on one favourite meal!

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It is a rainy Sunday in Guatemala today...out of the quietness inside of me I feel this strange urge to write a blog! So with my cup of tea and blanket, I am starting to write something about something that I haven't thought through at all...it's a new thing for me!

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Guatemala Challenge

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Challenge day in Panajachel, Guatemala...

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God's journal in Cuba

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While turning through the treasure chest pages of the valuable Word of God, God's journal, something switched a light on in my heart... The Author of this book never spent more than a few sentences to describe the places that the characters walked, the things they've seen. He didn't think it necessary to explain how the garden of Eden looked and what the view from king Solomon's palace was. We never read about the colours, smells and sounds of the market place in Babel or the dusty streets of Emmaus, the inside of a big fish! How did it feel to walk through the Red sea, I mean, could the Israelites actually see fish swim on the other side or was the water simply like a huge window? Oh, but the beauty of this Book, seeing that all that the Author had on His mind was people! Everything is about people when it comes to what He is most interested in, amazed at and passionate about... people! So, as I walked into Cuba I asked this Author to change my heart so that it can look more like His, so that my journal can look more like His!

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Speechless in Barbados...

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God came and met me in Barbados in a way that left me without words...the God that created colour, Who breathed and dreamed in colour deposited His colour into my being and made me live life the colourful way...DSC04965 P1150938

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Yes, I know that we are in Barbados at the moment, but please understand that I'm posting my blog on Guyana only now... I'm one of those little-by-little, retro-spect prosessing people. And I found that the nicest pictures, while traveling in a buss, train, aeroplane, car or donkey cart are taken when you turn around to capture the beautiful scenes that you've already passed.  So here is a glimps or two of those turn-around memories that I've taken from Guyana...

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Yesterday I wrote the blog about the story of a 20~year old girl and how she gave her life to Christ...handing her ashes to Him and having the faith that He might change it into something worth living for...something beautiful. 

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A few days ago our team went to the Simon Bolivar Park in Santa Marta, expectant to see God move through our dramas and Fred's testimony.
Near to the end of the Broken drama a young girl walked past us and turned back to see what is going on. As she sat down our eyes met for a few seconds and God being so excited with her being there, as if saying "Yes, yes, she's here!!!" Man, God was going to do something big...
After our program I immediately felt compelled to go to her and not long afterwards she started sharing her story with Kasia, Charne and me:
Her parents separated when she was very young and they never had time to "waste" on her. She used to be in a serious relationship and after finding out that she's pregnant, her boyfriend payed for the abortion. At the last moment she decided she wants to have her child, not going through with the abortion. He didn't know that she was still pregnant till some time later when his friends saw her at a local clinic, going for her check~ups. He was upset, but she confessed the truth, and that same day she got run over by a car and she lost her baby! 
Her parents didn't believe her, and rejected her completely. They told her that she was a mistake, useless and without any purpose!  She started doing drugs...it didn't ease her pain. She tried to kill herself...it didn't work. So her tried over and over again. Only two weeks ago she found that her boyfriend cheated on her, after dating for over two years, leaving her with a broken heart, no security and no support: "What's wrong with me?". Her parents changed their numbers so that she has no way of contacting them. "Why did they allow me to be born if they don't want me now?" 
And she's only 20 years old...
She walked passed the park, not really knowing why she stopped here, but when she sat down and our eyes met for that second, she experienced a peace like never before...
 
As this girl cried and cried, I could literally see how walls were crumbling, falling to the ground! She cried over and over again "It's just too much, I cannot go on anymore. It's just too much!!"  She tried everything up to the point of giving up completely, nothing worked, helped, but on the 7th of May 2013 she decided to give Jesus a chance!!! As she cried out of her innermost being to her Savior, the sky  lighted up with lightning bolts and thunder roared around us! I've never experienced anything like this before... awestruck!  Santa Marta haven't had rain or thunder like this in six months...
We could tell her the truth about herself and as the thunder continued, this 20 year old girl could say: "I am not rejected, because Jesus accepts me. I am not unworthy, because God sees me as worthy enough to give His life for me. I am not unloved, because God loves me! I was born with a purpose! I am alive for a purpose!" 
I am silenced before my King... the unstoppable God that saves people from out of the ashes!
The enemy couldn't stop Jesus from being born,
he couldn't keep Jesus from living a perfect, blameless life,
he couldn't stop Jesus from dying on the cross but most of all,
he couldn't keep Jesus from raising out of the grave!!!
 
And a few days ago I saw once again how God cannot be stopped when He longs to save His people!! 
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Dear Diary

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19:46,  24 April 2013
 
Today was our third day in Bogota, Colombia. As I'm sitting here, looking back at this day, Max is playing songs on her guitar...voicing all my heart is trying to say:
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We went to a market in the center of the city, hopping on public busses and looking like real tourists, I enjoyed that a lot. Man, the market...even as I think back on that I can feel a little girl jumping up and down inside of me, soaking in all the colours. Oranges, purples, greens, blues, reds, pinks everywhere!
 
 "I can show you the world, shining, shimmering, splendid,
tell Me princess, when did you last let your heart decide...
I can open your eyes, take you wonder by wonder...!
A whole new world, a dazzling place I never knew...
let Me share this whole new world with you..."
 
I enjoyed it so much to look through all the little shops, seeking my Friend's advice on what bag to buy or what magnet will be the best deal, and getting His advice through the peace that only He can give, even in small things like that.
Around 11oclock our team devided into smaller groups to go to different tourist sights...and in the chaos of  deciding where to go, I got left behind. Alone. Diary, I will not lie, I was freaked out as soon as I realised I'm alone, unable to speak the language or find my way back home. Should I stay there and wait, but when will the group realise I'm missing...2 minutes from now, or 5 hours? Should I go somewhere...but where, and what if they do turn back, how will they know I'm OK? 
 
"Higher mountains that I face! Stronger than the power of the grave. Constant through the trails and the change, One Thing remains..."
 
Within moments later, that Peace thet surpasses all understanding took over, and I decided to write small notes saying "I went to the Monseratte to find Jaco, dont worry". I left the notes at several places in the market, asking the people to give it to my amigo's if anyone comes back, looking for one, lost South African girl.
And then I walked to the cable car station at the foot of the Monseratte: the only place that I knew some of our team would go to, and also the only place that I knew I would be able to find, having the cathedral on top of the mountain as my guide. So what do you do...well, you go and buy yourself a soft serve, sugar cone, ice cream, walk confidently, not looking like an 18yr old, lost tourist, breath deeply, laugh at the madness and reality of the situation and enjoy the view! As I walked through crowds and crowds of people, feeling like the only one that doesn't  really know where she is going, the song of Ronan Keething got so much more significance: 
 
It's amazing how You can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, You light up the dark
Try as I may, I could never explain
What I hear when You don't say a thing 
 
The smile on Your face lets me know that You need me
There's the truth in Your eyes, saying You'll never leave me
And the touch of Your hand says You'll catch me, whenever I fall
You say it best, when You say nothing at all
 
All day long I hear people talking out loud
But when You hold me near You drown out the crowd 
Try as they may, they could never describe
What's been said between Your heart and mine
 
At the bottom of the famous Monseratte I desperately started asking around for my team mates, but no one saw any of the faces on the team picture...not one! Diary, that was my second moment of panic! I felt how hope drained out of the situation and then I turned around...! I nearly cried when I saw Chanan and Jaco only meters away, not even knowing that I was lost! Our God is so good...
I joined them in a trip in the cable car up to the cathedral on top of the mountain, not really wanting to stay behind at the bottom. As I stood on top of the mountain, overlooking the capital city of Colombia my heart sang:
 
 
Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we've come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You've done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

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Monday, as we were eating our delicious hamburger~supper, Tom and Eunice (two of the missionaries at the base in Fusa) came running in, panic~stricken faces! "There was a news flash just now!!! All tourists must immediately leave Colombia! The bus is coming to pick you up in 45 minutes!!!!"
Wow!! For a moment we just sat there, staring at each other, not knowing what's going on...and then we jumped up! Within 10 minutes our backpacks were packed, chaos everywhere!

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D.W hits the ground running!!

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As Tarzan swings through the rain forest, he lets go of his swinging vine. He is being launched through the air, pushed forward by the momentum he gained in the swing, until he hits the ground...

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I have no idea what on earth I expected, but I never even considered that language would be such a big gap to bridge when it comes to ministering in South America! Well, being a Vrystaatse farm girl, that considers English as a forreign language, you can just imagine what went through my mind as we stepped off the airplane in São Paulo, Brazil... Never mind English, everything was in Portugese!!! And I mean EVERYTHING and everyone! The stop signs, ATM's, soda names, stop signs, custom ladies, exit signs, DVD's, television programs....oooh and I can go on...!

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"Will you allow Me?"

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During the last few weeks of our training in Jefferys Bay the Lord kept repeating one spesific phrase into my heart: "Jans, will you allow Me..."

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Last week we had our small groups in Global Leadership Academy, like we had every Tuesday and Thursday the last month or so...but this was no ordinary Tuesday...

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God, loving through us...!

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I had no idea where to start writing...there is so much that happened in this first month of training...God's story, our challenges, celebrations, Veritas Bible course or even just our own life stories...but the golden thread through it all was without a doubt God's Spirit at work... 

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Global Challenge Expeditions Trust
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