If you are bored, I carry good news! You have not yet discovered it.Do you find yourself compromising good to find excitement at your expense? Secretly you must know you are not from here?
I have changed. Changing even still. I remember sitting inches from the television realizing with relief that I missed yet another day. Afraid that the day would indeed hold as little as I'd expected. I could not stand being proved right. I would not survive the knowing that life did indeed have as little to offer as I've imagined. So I'd rather not. Not go for that walk, not smell those roses, not dance in the rain, not drive all the way to the top and look at the lights. I'd rather live with the fantasy that those things are the goal. They are what life is about. And so I kept them, subconsciously knowing that they too are as empty as my young vessel.I knew that they were just the only image I had of freedom. Freedom into joy and contentment. But when I met You. Oh my Sweet, You have made life sweet. You filled the vessel and so another dimension, the one I was seeking, opened up before me. I still have not danced in the rain, but even the wind now brings pleasure . I will still have that dance with You, until then I will enjoy everything about You. Luckily You are everywhere. Thank You for life, my Life. It will never stop, for There is nothing else There is nothing else!Now that I have received not even a half portion of Life, I am so filled with a vibrant excitement! The boring chase from one high to the next has been weighed and found wanting. Now I climb the high from one extraordinarily humbling awakening to the next! I want to cry, laugh and scream all at once. The King has chosen me to be His bride. By design, I please Him. Even in the scruffy parts, I am adored by Love. I mean the intricate levels of love that has not yet been discovered by this devouring world. My Love, My Sweet, My King. Even if by force, I could not turn my face from You. There is nothing else! The rest is so painfully dull.
Learning to love differences.I always took a lot of pride in believing I was a supporter of diversity. I have only now started realizing how deep the differences lay and how often we are offended, reason being this ignorance. We did a temperament test a while a go, that changed my perception sooo much! On that note, Oh how I've learnt to love oblivion. One of the Love's sweetest way of loving us is to humble us. "There is in fact more to life than you know" There is more to hope for. Once again I am found wanting. A sweet need to discover another side of His reality, one learns to love so easily. Back to the point, When I realized that my way of manipulating people is in fact not at all their way of doing so. And so when I judge them, actually I am pointing out something that I would do. Eish that hurt! Turns out I judge a lot and most of all myself. And so, yes people should actually treat you how they'd like to be treated which is not how you would like to be treated. So for that to work out we need to be living out of fulfillment in Christ. It is just making more and more sense to me how, yes we can do all things through Him. But we can do nothing of worth ( in eternal perspective, nothing) without Him. I cannot love my neighbor, because even if they were whole and treating me with love, their idea of it is different and offense is bound to happen. James 3:18 You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results, only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with honor and dignity. Even the great James struggled to like people. Liking people is actually quite hard, because they push our buttons. They do not love us the way we were created to be loved. I mean obviously I am the main character and I need to be adored. The call of dying to myself is deepening every time I feel like I got it now. And so the humbling happens, and it sucks but also its so great ( in a months time or so) to be exposed to more magic. More Jesus magic. His ways are so very different to anything we know and so I have somehow in some kind of masochistic ( for all the critical lollies out there.. you'll probably get it) way started enjoying noticing dead flesh (human/loveless moments), because it means I have now a space where Jesus will bring life. He makes all things beautiful and new. So He directs me to see death, I cluelessly point at it and look at Him knowing His being part of this makes it pop up into life. Nothing He touches can stay dead. It is just impossible. I have wandered off a bit. To wrap it up (I think), people don't mean to be bad and when you see something that upsets you, it is probably something you would do to upset a person. Judging has really put me in my place. I think people might treat us they way they think they deserved to be treated, which are cool indicator to us how to love them.
You can develop a healthy robust community that lives right with God only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other with honor and dignity. -James 3:18I have heard missionaries say one of the hardest things they have dealt with and one of the biggest reasons why missionaries give up is other missionaries. Jesus asks us to love and we think it sweet, untill... -The dishes never gets done-Your spend hours cooking and they have the nerve to give you cooking tips and comments on how loud you are in the kitchen-they stand and look at you running to serve everybody coffee, even when the are appointed to help you-After serving them coffee they pull up their noses for your coffee in front of you. Love is Patient!It is KindIt does not envy In every situation there is an opportunity to lay down your fake sense of 'I deserve' which has no ground. Think that is why we turn to anger. It is the easy way out of conviction. Easy way out of love... Love is a force undiscovered by the world. We are all under the illusion that "I am the main character" and we are all screaming out ways we should be loved, angry that nobody hears us. How ironic. Nobody shuts up and loves. Nobody listens to the needs of their neighbors, not even to mention the needs of their dearest loved ones. And so the universe is groaning and pleading for love! More and more we are disappointed in our loved ones, because we were made to experience a much deeper love than this world could offer. And so we give up and settle for small bits of it, forcing those around us to live with the disappointment that they were just not enough. When you look at it that way, wouldn't you say you are literally fighting against the very thing Jesus is doing with His people. He died to set them free from the lies you keep throwing at them. Kind of like satan, just saying... Key one- people are never going to make you happy. Matthew 10:8 Freely you have received, freely give. He saw our whole lives and nothing we did pleased Him and yet He still loves us. Sit down, be humble. Myself included. So just for a second let your mind go: there is not one person out there with the same framework or foundation. You are the only one that looks at life through your lenses, shaped by your life up on till now. Do think it could be possible that your judgement of them could not have any solid ground to stand on? Only He sees and knows all, and IS the only solid foundation, and He decided to rather have mercy anyway. So when He challenges us to love one another, it means to want His will for them. So ask yourself: am I helping this bride become whole? When one of us suffer, we all suffer.
Oh how I've learnt to love oblivion. One of The Love's sweetest way of loving us is to humble us. "There is in fact more to life than you know"There is more to hope for. Once again I am found wanting. A sweet need to discover another side of His reality, one learns to love so easily. This is how I understand it so don't quote me. We are all made in God's image, but then sin gave us a heart of stone. Whenever conviction takes place, a new manner of thinking is introduced to you. The Kingdom manner of thinking. And so your heart becomes more flesh. Whenever a humbling takes place, stone is being chipped away, until one day when we stand face to face with LIFE, and our hearts start beating.
In Australia I was very challenged with the matter of where I find my identity. What makes up a person's personality? Is it the music you listen to or you fashion choices? Your likes and dislikes and what you have strong opinions over? Where you stand in social circles and the trend you fall under? Is it what others would sum you up as or what they point out? Is it their enjoyment of you or their trust in you?
Since Kosovo, our team has stepped into a musical. The absence of wifi and the presence of lovely hosts made the difference. We had a lot of freedom to spend time with Christ and grow in unity. It was a healing and strengthening time there and not at all a disappointment. The fact that we could not go to China is long forgotten, because we truly believe God wanted us in Kosovo. Our hosts admitted to wishing for help and knowing God used us to show them He hears their prayers even before they pray them, means the world. We are committed to be His hands and feet and this detour means He is using us as such. What an absolute honor!